Waiting on Someday....

     Yesterday was actually a pretty good day no major meltdown with the children and they both took really good naps. One of mine good friends that I talk to all the time has been living in Alabama for about a year and before that she lived in Florida. We had always talked about going back home to Arkansas. Well yesterday afternoon she calls me to let me know that her husband was just offered an amazing job in Arkansas. I am very happy for them I know how much she wanted to move back but I could not help being a little on the jealous side. For awhile now I just feel stuck no, not with my marriage or family it's that the fact that we are in  El Paso. My husband and I have no intentions to stay here after he leaves the military. For about the last 8 months they have been telling him that he is getting medically discharged but they have yet to actually start the med board. You can see where emotions and frustrations are running high. When they(the military) tells my husband yes you getting medically discharged and it should take about 4-6 months then come back and says stuff like we need to do more tests or it has been rejected for some reason or another. Meanwhile Tim and I will get excited he will start looking for jobs and posting his resume online and we keep telling our family and friends that we are moving back. So you can understand the disappointment when they come back and tell his isn't getting a med board just yet. This has happen probably about 4 times and I am getting to the point that I am like yeah right.

      So after I got off the phone with my friend I felt bad like I was raining on her parade. She probably knows me better than anyone, so I know she knew I wasn't being that sincere when I was talking to her. So I called her back a little later to be honest and she was the first one to say something, she thought I was mad at her but like I said I am truly happy for her just a little frustrated with my situation right now. I told her that and she said she had gotten that way too waiting to hear a reply to her husband interview. He had the interview and they told him they would get back to him in 2 weeks well the 2 weeks came and gone. I knew she was frustrated, we would talk about it over those couple of weeks I knew she was praying he would getting the job even though she tried to act like she didn't mind either way. She told me that she had decided to let God handle it and when she stop trying to control it the phone call came.(She wrote about this experience on her blog Unexpected and Chaotic Bliss  link is below) So I was trying to look at the bright side, I have a wonderful family.

     With my husband being gone so much over the last 3 years we have sort of lost sight of each other. I got used to doing everything all myself the house work and tending to the children and he got used to doing nothing beside caring for himself. It has been kind of hard since he had got back from Iraq. It's like we were not connecting on any level. I mention that I pray for my children every night another thing I pray is for my marriage that my husband wants to be here that he wants to a husband and a father. Recently I started to notice some changes in him, when I was getting frustrated or annoyed with anything he would walk up to me and give me a hug or a kiss. Which is not like him, he isn't really an affectionate person. I had grown not to be upset or offend by his lack of affection. So when he start doing this it threw me off...lol The other night he just wanted to talk, just talk about anything so I mostly talk and he just listen. He told me that he had never notice how much he enjoys listening to me before and that we should do that a lot more. You could not believe my emotions there are just too many to name that my husband was actually trying to work on our marriage. So after talking to my friend I felt a little ashamed that I was jealous about her getting to moved by to Arkansas before me. So last night I pray, I thanked God for everything in my life my husband, who was turning thing around, my beautiful children, my sisters and of course my best friend. Someday I really don't know what I would do if I didn't talk her, I would probably lose my mind lol. I know God has a plan for us and I think we are staying here for the experiences and trials of our marriage so far we have pulled through. I am so thankful that I have married a man who is a strong believer in God and marriage. I know some people would have already walked but we said our vows and we plan to honor them. So yes I will just have to wait to move back to Arkansas, for Tim and I to buy our first home, and even more children;) I know God will make all of this possible someday....