Yay I'm in:)......

Wow I can't believe I haven't been on here since July 2011! Mostly because I forgot my user name and password and was too lazy to recover it lol. Everything is about the same I stay home with two toddlers that keep me busy with the the constant “get down” “no hitting” and my favorite “put your diaper back on” Yes BOTH of my children are streakers. I don't mind the no shirts no pants but no diaper is no good:) Especially the little one he thinks it's funny to run from me holding his junk....and he randomly pees.....

On a different note weight watchers has done wonders for me I have now lost a total of 60 pounds:) I did change the profile picture:) I have gotten into photography, my husband got me a Canon Rebel for Christmas and I love the camera:) With children that won't stay still it comes in handy now not all of the pictures are a blur of children being cracky. I started a photography page on Facebook ( http://www.facebook.com/sgbphotography1 ) of course I had to throw that in:) I am having a lot of fun with the whole photography thing...I have meet a lot of great people networking. Oh if you are wondering if I am still doing online classes....yes I am! I am almost done with the Early Education degree I am going into my last block next week...now only two more years to get a Bachelor’s in Environmental Science...lol Well I will try to keep up with my login info for this....

Update:)

Peyton is sleeping much better now that he is weaned. I can not believe he will be a year old in just a couple of weeks. His first year has gone by so fast, Sophie's first year of life seem to drag on lol. It was a wonderful time but it seemed a lot slower than with Peyton. I have been working on getting my babies on a schedule and so far success! I get a little time to myself each day now:) Which I can tell is helping a lot with stress. I am able to just have down time, exercise(without children jumping on me lol) and time to work on my class work. If I didn't mention it before I take online classes at University of Phoenix. Right now I am in the Early Education degree plan, I am not sure if I am going to change it to something like Environmental Science. I keep going back and forth with that. With weight watchers this week I have lost 5 pounds and in the last month I have lost 6 inches off of my body. So I feel better like I have more energy so I do think it is important for Tim and I to wait to have any more babies. I feel like I have a lot going on right now I still can't make up my mind about Peyton's birthday party. I am not sure if my sister Leslie is going to be able to make it out here for it so it might just be us. I am wanting to do a cookie cake for him. I am not sure on what to get him, I know he really like Sophie's baby dolls so I was thinking about finding him a boy baby. I am just excited about his birthday:) I know that we will be back in Arkansas before his next birthday so he will have a lot more guests. Lol

What to do Now....

I am comfortable now to say that Peyton is weaned. It has almost been a week since he last nursed. I was thinking about this last night this is the first time in years that I don't feel limited on what I can do. Being pregnant I would obviously avoid stuff that would not be health for the baby. When I was pregnant with Sophie I was kind of strict on myself I would not drink caffeine at all if I drink any soda it was like Sprite. It didn't get any better after she was born when I started breastfeeding I was consistently worried about what I ate and how it would effect Sophie. I would limit spicy foods, fatty foods, and still would barely drink caffeine. Probably for the first 4 months of her life I mostly ate bland food. Although I knew a lot of things would not effect her or hurt her I would still worry. I also worried that she wasn't getting enough milk from me. Looking back I was kind of stressed out with her. With Peyton I was more relaxed but still I was consistently thinking and worrying about how my actions would effect him. I never felt comfortable drinking any alcohol. I can remember buy like wine and I want it to relax but really it didn't help because I would be so worried that the baby would get sick from it. It is just really weird for me not to think about these things before I eat or drink anything. I love my children, I love being pregnant and breastfeeding. For the last three years I was either pregnant or breastfeeding....or both lol. I have struggled with my weight for a long time now even before I was pregnant with Sophie. I am definitely not one of those mothers who blames being bigger on her pregnancies. I was bigger before that, while breastfeeding with both of my children I would trying to lose weight but always worried about how it would effect them and my milk supply. Plus I feel like it was almost an excuse for me not to be serious about losing the weight. Now that I am neither pregnant or breastfeeding I have no excuse. My older sister and I are starting weight watchers I am hoping that I will stick to it this time. I wish I was closer to family and friends so I could have a better support system. My husband isn't much help lol last night he told me that he would support me by eating all the food so I wouldn't eat it he's crazy...lol I was watching TV last night and I swear every other commercial was about food.

Juggling Act

My life seems like a juggling act sometimes I can find the right balance between stuff. The last few days doesn't seem that way. First off my Peyton has not nursed in the last four days but for some reason I am not comfortable or confident to say he's completely weaned. I am not sure why I guess because it happened to easy with him I was really expecting a fight...lol. Even though he has not nursed the last couple of nights have been hard. He is getting one of his back teeth and he is a crabby cake. Yesterday Mother Nature decided to give back her gift after a long vacation lol. The last time I had a period was November of 2009. So yesterday when I started I had to go to Wal-Mart to get some things. I stood in the “female” aisle uncertain on what to get, I couldn't really remember what worked best. The only symptom I had of PMS was the fatigue. I was sooo tired I didn't feel like doing much but some how it seemed like I was doing everything. By the end of the day I was so tired and irritated that I wasn't been that nice of a person. It seemed through the whole day that everything I was looking for was MIA, which did not help my mood. When the kids' bedtime finally came around I was so relieved, only to find out that my daughter Sophie took her classical music CD out of the player(she sleeps to music) so I spend 20 minutes looking for it. I was relieved when Peyton went to sleep he had been so fussy all day and would not take an afternoon nap. So between taking care of my babies and half way cleaning the house the laundry was so back up but I didn't really care last night I just wanted to relax. Of course I got sucked into watching something on TV instead of just going to sleep after Peyton fell asleep. I caught the last part of Pretty Woman by the time that was over I tried to go to sleep but when I got into the bed it woke Peyton up:( So I rocked him, sang to him, gave him his sippy even thought about giving him the boob nothing was working. So I went to find the orajel and while I was applying it to his gums he has a back tooth coming in. I tried laying with him he didn't like that so I ended up siting up rocking him and that seemed to be working. I laid him beside me relieved he was back a sleep when he just sat up looking at me and started to giggle to himself and then started playing with the sheet. I guess he stopped screaming so it wasn't so bad. As I was laying there I was drifting in and out of sleep trying to stay awake to watch him on one of the “outs” how I came back to was seeing white and red lights my son had busted me in the face, the bridge of the nose to be exact with his head. Although I was in pain it didn't affect him. I though he broke it and my husband came in the room to see what was going on and was nice enough to bring me some ice. All and all Peyton didn't go back to sleep until 3 am. I woke this morning with really bad back aches and cramps:( now I remember why I hate periods. I guess I could solve that I could just get pregnant....lol With Sophie I only had two periods before getting pregnant again.....just kidding I am going to wait a little while to have any more babies. I am hoping the ibuprofen will kick in so I can get some things done today.

Today is a New Day....

My little man slept through the night last night. Peyton even went the whole night without nursing not that I would refuse him but he didn't want to. So I would of course periodically wake up to check on Peyton or because he is such a mover. Getting 5 ½ hours of sleep felt like 12 so I woke up around 6:30 of course I made coffee(how would I get my day started without it...lol) and checked emails and FaceBook. One of my good friends wrote a blog this morning about babies growing too fast. It's funny because I have been thinking that for awhile I will just stare at my children in amazement sometimes of how fast they have grown and how much they have changed as little persons. Sophie is so funny with her wild hair(She has mommy's) she has curls everywhere, it just seems like she grew hair overnight. She has been talking so much more even talking in phrases and sentences. Yesterday I was trying to find the DVD remote and I asked her if she has seen it (she likes to hide things) and she started “calling” the remote like a pet or something...remote, remote she does this a lot like it will magically appear in front of her. It is just too cute to be honest I laugh every time. Well I asked her again if she knew where it was and she look me dead in the eyes with her little hands out from her sides and tells me “I don't know” her little face was so funny like she was trying to get across her sincerity without success of not laugh I said so you don't know and she said loudly “no” and started calling it again. Well I found it under the TV stand and she goes “aw there's the remote” and then start giggling to herself muttering that silly remote. My children makes me smile and laugh a thousand times a day, no matter how frustrated I am or just annoyed they can ALWAYS put a smile on my face. Peyton is turning in to such a funny little guy, the way he walks is hilarious I can't explain it but its just too cute. Peyton has both top teeth and bottom teeth so those are super cute when he smiles, his blonde hair is getting longer that it is flipping out by his ears. For the last week he has been such a joy, he is playing with Sophie a lot more and just all around happier(I think he was feeling under the weather last week). I love his smiles and precious laughs. I really don't know what I would do without them. I love my children very much and I love my husband although he frustrates me a lot after a very long day yesterday my husband went to Wal-Mart and surprised me with the book The 5 love languages. He had been telling me that he was wanting to get this book for US to read together. I stayed up talking to him after the kids went to bed and I got done talking to my older sister. It was about 1:30 am when I finally went to sleep but it was worth it to get to talk to him:) I was really frustrated yesterday but today is a new day and I want to enjoy it and make the most of it:) So when I feel frustrated with my children I will hug them and when my husband annoys me I will tell him I love you....with this I hope I will feel like I am enjoying my family more and more....

To Wean or Not to Wean

When I was first pregnant with Sophie I was nerves that I would not be able to breastfeed so I would always say I am going to try when people would ask about the subject. Well of course I could just like most mothers. My breastfeeding experience with her was a wonderful and very special one. I had mention before that she was an easy baby, so breastfeeding and weaning came easy. Right round 6 months when she started sitting and crawling she started to lose interest in the breast. I would have to pump to try to keep up supply and at one point I was even taking fenugreek. The more she could move around and explore I was out of business. I wasn't really her comfort like I am for Peyton. Her comfort since about 3 months was to suck on her first two fingers on her left hand. So around 9 months I barely had any milk left I would pump and give it to her in a sippy or put it in her food. The only time she want to nurse was once at nap time and once at bed time. So I starting cutting out the nap time nursing when she was right around 11 months. It didn't phase her most of the time she would just latch on to go to sleep. She would just suck on her fingers instead. One week later she was completely weaned. Peyton like I have told you is a whole different story.....from day one he loves the booby. I knew that my goal mark with both of my children was to breastfeed for a year...a little less or little more is just fine with me. I knew he was going to be difficult and he was making a habit out of biting during nursing so I started a little earlier with him probably about 10 months I started to gradually take out feedings. This actually was not bad, he was crawling and starting to walk so he wasn't that interested in nursing during the day. Night time is a different story with him...lol Well we got to the point that we were having a feeding in the morning, nap time, bed time and through out the night. The morning nursing was the easiest to skip so I did that and a few days later we add skipping the nap time booby. I learned that he likes to sleep in his playpen and he will put himself to sleep! So that is what I started doing for naps. So the only time Peyton was now breastfeeding is at bed time and through the night. I had said that Peyton wasn't sleeping well at night, well I am thinking he might not have been feeling well or possible getting another tooth. The last few night he has been sleeping a lot better. Well two nights ago we try skipping booby time at bed time and it was just fine. I am a crazy though and I didn't feel comfortable with he sleep in his playpen all night, I always worry he will suffocate even during nap time I check on him a lot to make sure he is still breathing. So I put him in the bed and he somewhat woke up so I gave him the boob but that was the only time he got it that night. Last night was the same he went to sleep just fine and I nursed him once. Like I said I am crazy I am all like it will be such a relief to not breastfeed but now it's happening I am a little bummed. I know I have to be consistent with the whole process I can't go back in-forth that will just be harder on him.

Waiting on Someday....

     Yesterday was actually a pretty good day no major meltdown with the children and they both took really good naps. One of mine good friends that I talk to all the time has been living in Alabama for about a year and before that she lived in Florida. We had always talked about going back home to Arkansas. Well yesterday afternoon she calls me to let me know that her husband was just offered an amazing job in Arkansas. I am very happy for them I know how much she wanted to move back but I could not help being a little on the jealous side. For awhile now I just feel stuck no, not with my marriage or family it's that the fact that we are in  El Paso. My husband and I have no intentions to stay here after he leaves the military. For about the last 8 months they have been telling him that he is getting medically discharged but they have yet to actually start the med board. You can see where emotions and frustrations are running high. When they(the military) tells my husband yes you getting medically discharged and it should take about 4-6 months then come back and says stuff like we need to do more tests or it has been rejected for some reason or another. Meanwhile Tim and I will get excited he will start looking for jobs and posting his resume online and we keep telling our family and friends that we are moving back. So you can understand the disappointment when they come back and tell his isn't getting a med board just yet. This has happen probably about 4 times and I am getting to the point that I am like yeah right.

      So after I got off the phone with my friend I felt bad like I was raining on her parade. She probably knows me better than anyone, so I know she knew I wasn't being that sincere when I was talking to her. So I called her back a little later to be honest and she was the first one to say something, she thought I was mad at her but like I said I am truly happy for her just a little frustrated with my situation right now. I told her that and she said she had gotten that way too waiting to hear a reply to her husband interview. He had the interview and they told him they would get back to him in 2 weeks well the 2 weeks came and gone. I knew she was frustrated, we would talk about it over those couple of weeks I knew she was praying he would getting the job even though she tried to act like she didn't mind either way. She told me that she had decided to let God handle it and when she stop trying to control it the phone call came.(She wrote about this experience on her blog Unexpected and Chaotic Bliss  link is below) So I was trying to look at the bright side, I have a wonderful family.

     With my husband being gone so much over the last 3 years we have sort of lost sight of each other. I got used to doing everything all myself the house work and tending to the children and he got used to doing nothing beside caring for himself. It has been kind of hard since he had got back from Iraq. It's like we were not connecting on any level. I mention that I pray for my children every night another thing I pray is for my marriage that my husband wants to be here that he wants to a husband and a father. Recently I started to notice some changes in him, when I was getting frustrated or annoyed with anything he would walk up to me and give me a hug or a kiss. Which is not like him, he isn't really an affectionate person. I had grown not to be upset or offend by his lack of affection. So when he start doing this it threw me off...lol The other night he just wanted to talk, just talk about anything so I mostly talk and he just listen. He told me that he had never notice how much he enjoys listening to me before and that we should do that a lot more. You could not believe my emotions there are just too many to name that my husband was actually trying to work on our marriage. So after talking to my friend I felt a little ashamed that I was jealous about her getting to moved by to Arkansas before me. So last night I pray, I thanked God for everything in my life my husband, who was turning thing around, my beautiful children, my sisters and of course my best friend. Someday I really don't know what I would do if I didn't talk her, I would probably lose my mind lol. I know God has a plan for us and I think we are staying here for the experiences and trials of our marriage so far we have pulled through. I am so thankful that I have married a man who is a strong believer in God and marriage. I know some people would have already walked but we said our vows and we plan to honor them. So yes I will just have to wait to move back to Arkansas, for Tim and I to buy our first home, and even more children;) I know God will make all of this possible someday....